CAFFEINE BLUES
the never-ending ups and downs with caffeine
Whenever I consult with a client or friend about anxiety issues, one of the first lifestyle shifts I suggest is taking an extended break from caffeine, particularly coffee, and I almost always get a dirty look. And then we have a good laugh because I totally get it.
Working on my relationship with caffeine has been a journey to say the least, but doing some experimenting has provided profound knowledge for my individual mind-body type. This is what an Ayurveda lifestyle is all about. Committing the time and energy for some uncomfortable self-study, and in this particular case, grieving the loss of coffee and caffeine for a while.
Here’s the thing about caffeine—sometimes we can’t tell if it’s helping or hindering us. That one cup-a-day (plus an afternoon espresso if necessary) seems harmless. And it totally is if it’s not triggering negative symptoms. But if you’re like me, a constant worrier and a recovering perfectionist who tends to pump out more than enough cortisol on her own, the cumulative effects of one cup-a-day really adds up. After years of identifying as a “coffee-drinker”, my cup-a-day all of a sudden started triggering jitters and an intense surge in anxiety. And forget about the impending crash a couple hours later that a lot of times left me immobile.
As we know, caffeine triggers cortisol production (our stress hormone) which stimulates the nervous system to go into action mode. If someone is prone to an overly active nervous system due to past trauma and lifestyle (me!), a daily influx of even more cortisol perpetuates overactivity. Fight-or-flight mode full-time, baby. We don’t want this.
So the increase of these symptoms pushed me to do a little self-study research. A google search led me to hormonal health research. A conversation with a friend led me to someone else’s blog that was openly talking about her issues with caffeine. Then I went into full-on ‘seeker’ mode and it steam-rolled from there. This was really the start of me taking action in living a more conscious life, taking my health into my own hands. This is around the time when Ayurveda came into my life and it felt like an opportunity for a fresh wellness start.
Okay, that’s all sweet, it really is, but let’s talk about the hard part—quitting coffee. I’ve always been pretty good at these kinds of personal challenges (as long as I’m really ready). I did a lot of mental preparation first, savored my cups of coffee each day and did research on caffeinated tea alternatives. You thought I just quit caffeine? No, no. I wasn’t going cold turkey like that. I needed something to lessen the blow.
cue matcha
My research led me to matcha and I jumped on the $7 latte bandwagon real quick. Something about matcha’s caffeine was different. In fact, the whole green tea leaf has a lot of caffeine but its effects are way more gentle. So I started to experience a different daily caffeine trip. A slow and peaceful energetic climb, a beautiful plateau and then a cool descent as the day turned to dusk. The grassy, earthy and warming taste pleased and served my senses. It was the transition I needed out of coffee. I learned how to make a bomb matcha latte at home and it was a self-care morning routine that I didn’t know I needed. It wasn’t just about getting a caffeine fix anymore—it was to celebrate a ritualistic and mindful ceremony, just how matcha was meant to be consumed, rooted in Chinese + Japanese spiritual history.
I drank matcha everyday for over a year. Within that year, I went deeper into Ayurveda. I made a lot more lifestyle shifts. I did some Ayurvedic cleanses. My skin cleared up. I lost stubborn excess weight and inflammation. I reduced my stress levels. My craving for life got better. I settled into my self-healing journey for sure. Dare I say, I found some semblance of balance.
A few calendar seasons passed as life and work picked up speed. On top of working full-time in the TV industry I became an Ayurveda yoga teacher and took on a second job teaching part-time. As life shifted into a higher gear my awareness shifted more outside of myself. My ritual of making matcha in the mornings started to become a mindless chore as the newfound busy-ness of life distracted me. I started feeling jittery every day after my matcha just like I used to in my tail-end days of coffee. So here we go again. Now I can’t even have matcha?
I wasn’t happy about it but I begrudgingly listened and took a break. This of course is what Ayurveda teaches us—to listen. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I took a matcha break the jitters went away. I settled into a no-caffeine routine as my schedule got even busier. This lasted about a year and physically I was feeling better and more balanced than ever (mind you, this is all combined with an overall Ayurvedic lifestyle). The caffeine break was necessary, that is until I thought I could give it another go.
cue portugal
I went to Europe for 2.5 weeks where a post-meal espresso is almost mandatory. You don’t not participate in that as a visitor, it would be rude. Besides they were delicious and I enjoyed every single one of them. No fucking regrets. The trip wouldn’t have been the same as I would have missed out on experiencing another country’s rituals, and what’s the point of traveling if you do that?
However, I continued my new espresso love affair after I got home. The post-vacation bliss wore off as I settled back into my busy routine. It sure didn’t take long for the symptoms to come back with a vengeance. Within a month, I was experiencing the all too familiar surge in anxiety, moodiness and a new symptom—profuse underarm sweat, a sure sign of excess cortisol. The caffeine legit had to go again so this time I did research for “the best herbal replacement for coffee”.
cue dandelion root “coffee”
This love in a mug is my new love affair except this time it’s all herbal, baby! Dandelion root “coffee” is the gateway to a caffeine-free stint, I promise. Dandelion is a plant, a weed actually. It grows from the ground. It flowers. It’s herbal medicine. It’s earthy, bitter and robust enough to stand up to coffee flavors we’ve grown to love. It’s naturally stimulating and my nervous system likes it a lot. I really like it too. It’s my morning cup boo.
I like where I am on my non-caffeinated journey right now. I’ll have a matcha every once in a while. Maybe an espresso every 4-5 months or so but for now, I lay off the caffeine. It’s working for me, until it doesn’t. I’ll just keep listening.
I share this because I’m not going to write about how easy a caffeine-free life is. None of this self-work shit is easy. None of it. It’s also ever-evolving and changing, just like we are, with the natural seasonal rhythms and cycles of life. It all shifts based on lifestyle, internal and external stressors and the current state of our emotional hearts. This is Ayurveda.
So keep listening to you. Keep checking in. If something is feeling off and you suspect it’s in your willpower to change, seek out guidance for self-study help. As far as caffeine, if you are someone that is prone to burnout, hormonal imbalances, adrenal dysfunction, acidity issues, skin issues, unpredictable menstrual cycles (or loss of cycles), hair loss, stubborn weight troubles even though you’re doing all the things, or my personal favorite—perfectionism, taking an extended break from caffeine could help you dig a little deeper into your self-healing journey. Be your own best seeker. Listen deeply to what your mind-body is trying to communicate and just explore. And if you need a little caffeine-free help, I have a kick-ass DANDELION ROOT “COFFEE” RECIPE just for you!